Skates

Rather than spend another $86 on a 30-day train pass for August, I decided to instead buy a $4 pair of second-hand roller skates and, (when it's not in the 90s like this week), start skating to work.

Just for fun, I put them on right after I bought them to skate home on. In case you are wondering, skating is not like bike riding. It does not come naturally after years of dispractice.
I managed to stay upright, no thanks to the pitted, glass-infused, porous, shitty sidewalks of Chicago; however, I did make a right fool of myself for 9 blocks, constantly waving my arms to try and correct my balance, stumbling through the starts and stops.
(Seriously. Anyone? How does one "go" without tripping? And I can't seem to recall the trick to making the back stopper (for there's only one) work. So far I've just been grabbing onto nearby objects to stop. I tried the ski toes-in trick to slow down, which only makes your feet run into each other. I also have problems standing still: I try to keep from rolling forewards, but the skates then take me backwards!)

Anyway, there was a lot of "Don't fall, don't fall, don't fall" and "Oh no" going on. Of course there was the one nice Chicago driver who held up the traffic behind him to let me "cross" the street. Even the old Mexican ladies were laughing at me. (Ok, they weren't laughing, but they did say "Be careful!".)

Moral of the story: if you see someone struggling on skates, follow them! It may be hilarious.